


All that Remains

by NightingalesSong



Category: PAYDAY (Video Games)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:40:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10052438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightingalesSong/pseuds/NightingalesSong
Summary: This will probably be a Series of one-offs, that didn't make it into my long ff "I will never be you" or that were ideas i had that didn't fit and so on.The tags might change as i go on, please bear in mind that some of those one offs are maybe completely out of character and merely leftovers that didn't make it into a full story :D





	1. What if there was nothing left to do

 

 

 

 

 

He had been sitting on the bed for so long, just holding Zac, gently stroking his neck and back. Somewhere along the way his ghost had fallen asleep. He was thankful for that. So many thoughts ran through his mind. There was so much he still wanted to do, so much he wanted to share with someone...with Zachariah and yet there seemed to be so little time left. If what the doctors said was true, that is..he wouldn't stop praying though. To just accept the fact that he would have to say goodbye eventually was just too painful. And what was there to it anyway. Hoping was something he could do. Death was almost granted. But seeing something good happen was at least something he could hope for.

 

He looked down on the pale face, resting against his chest. Careful not to wake him, he let his fingers caress the ghosts cheek softly. His skin felt so cold and fragile under his fingertips. He was getting treatments, sure, but the doctors had put it very bluntly. This was all just buying time since his chances of getting well again were below 20 percent. And now a small dark voice in his head wondered if it was even worth. It was bought time full of painkillers, constantly feeling sick and exhausted. All he could do was hope for a wonder, pray to whatever outerworldly being was out there that Zacs body could battle the malfunction of its own cells.

This little ugly voice even wondered if it would be easier just to let him go, to spare him all this hardship. It hurt so much to see the ghost like this.

 

Ghost...it had been a fitting work title but now he looked more and more like a real ghost. Pale almost translucent. But then again ther at least WAS a chance. They hadn't said it was zero. He clung to that for all it was worth.

 

Millions of dollars were stacked deep beneath the safehouse. So much money. Yet no amount would be capable to save one of their own this time. No judge or cop or politician or mobster he could bribe to get Zac out of this...nothing he could buy to change anything or at least tip the scale in his favor...

 

"Shite...", he whispered and gently tightened the embrace around the man sleeping in his arms, forcing back the lump in his throat.

 

They all had been putting their life on the line more times than he could count and then some. If one of them actually died one day, he had always figured it would be in a blaze of bullets. In a fight. They all would go down in a huge bang. It would be over in a snap. In an environment that they controlled, according to their rules and the decisions they made for themselves. They would be the ones responsible for what happened. In control. Not like this...powerless and with tied hands. That was the worst part. There was nothing one could do and there had been nothing they could've done to prevent it. Cursed to just stand idle and watch it happen.

 

The hardest part of it all maybe was, that the ghost didn't let anything shine through. He wasn't angry, he wasn't mad that his body was betraying him like that. He didn't cry about it, nothing. But Hox wanted him to. He knew that part of the reason had to be because the young man didn't want anyone to be more concerned than they already were. That he tried to be strong for all of them. It broke his heart to think how even in this position he put more weight on his shoulders just to smile for them. To act hopefull. Houston had all the right to scream at whatever godly being there might was or wasn't how unfair all of this was.

 

The ugly voice in the back of his mind returned, whispering its doubts about that statement into Hox' ears. They were criminals after all. Maybe this was payback for all that they had done. Why it was Houston out of all of them that was hit hardest he didn't know. He had probably the least blood on his hands. It would affect all of them though. It already did to be honest.

But that thought was stupid too. Not everyone battling a disease was guilty of something, hell there were children dying that hadn't even had the chance to commit any sin or crime.

Why were there so many dark and stupid thoughts in his head..

 

The vibrating phone on the bedside table got him to return from those sad thoughts. Again careful not to wake Houston he got up, pulling up the blankets over him and leaving the bedroom before he answered.

 

"...Yeah...what is it..?", his feet carried him to the huge living room. To the piano to be exact, where he sat down. Tired. Exhausted.

 

"Hey...I just wanted to see how you are holding up..both of you.", the usually quirky happy voice of the young aussie woman was gentle.

 

"He's sleeping right now...I think the painkillers actually don't do a whole sodding lot...I'm just glad he gets at least some shuteye at the moment..", he sighed quietly and rubbed his forehead, closing his eyes for a short while.

 

"You still haven't told anyone else yet...right..?"

 

"No...I don't know how...how do you tell your best mate that his brother is....that he's basically...that he's doing bloody worse...? How the fuck would you manage that..? I just can't right now, Kelli..I just can't..", he couldn't even say it out loud. More accurately he didn't want to. Saying it, would mean that he was acknowledging it.

 

"Got ya...It's just...you know, they all suspect one thing or the other now..they miss him...both of you actually...they are not dumb and surely not blind either. I mean...all i can offer is that I tell them...they'd understand that you can't do it..", he heard the sound of passing cars. Sydney was probably going for a walk as they spoke. Clever girl. So no one would eavesdrop on them.

 

"Appreciate the offer but...I can't do that to them. Especially not to Dallas...Zac's not the only one who'll need me as soon as they all know...I'm just...", he paused, searching for the right words before he gave up with a quiet sigh. "..I don't know..."

 

"You are tired...exhausted..and you want the whole world to deal with their fucking shit by themselves for once..it sucks to be everyones pillar in those situations..."

 

"I just wish I could..talk about all of that...whatever 'that' is...Shite, he was there for me for so long now. It's like my brain has forgotten how to deal with something like this on its own..", he braced his head on his hand now, elbow on the piano.

 

"I could tell you that I'm there for you...but what you are saying is that you wish you could talk to him about all of this...It might seem like you shouldn't...but I encourage you strongly to do it anyways. Don't shut him out. He probably still wants to know what goes on in that head of yours. He wants to be there for you as much as you want to be strong for him now, you know...Let him be part of your life as you did before you both knew..."

 

"God, I just...I just wish there would be something... anything.. that I could actually do. But what is there to do? No enemy to fight, no cop to shoot, no swat team to outrun, no bloody fucking bastard to punch in the gob, nothing...!", a longer silence stretched out between them now, while he took a few breaths, trying to fight the shaking in his voice back. "I just don't know what to do...what in the heavens am I supposed to do..?", his voice was breaking, so he went completely silent.

 

"Be at his side..and more importantly allow him to be at your side. That is all there is to do.", she paused for a while when Hox didn't answer.

"...Hey, uhm.. listen...I could drop by...cook something...so the both of you at least eat proper...get your mind off things for a while...I won't bother you I promise...if things change..if he gets worse I'll either help or go, whatever it is you'd rather have. Just know. I'm willing to..to help, that is...", she paused again.

 

Hox was ready to just decline her kind offer as he always would. But then again, maybe it would be good to have her here. Mostly because he could talk to another human being. Alone was the state he feared after all.

"Actually...I'd really like that...only if you're sure though. This is...it might get hard...you know. Seeing him like this...", he fell silent after that.

 

"I'll be there. One hour, 'till i got all the groceries. Don't you worry. I'll get you lads fed and fat too probably.", she giggled quietly, lightening the mood.

 

"Thanks, Kelli...give me a call when you're here. I'll let you in, so the doorbell won't wake Zac."

 

"Will do. See ya!", with that the call ended.

 

Silence returned to the Apartment. For a while he just sat there in front of the piano, staring out into the late afternoon, the dying sun dipping all the buildings into a crimson-orange mix of light. He got up, carefully closing all the doors to the big room before opening up the grand piano. Soon enough the dulcet sounds of his piano pianissiomo playing filled the air, helping him to calm the storm inside of him.

 


	2. Fireworks

 

 

 

The sky was lit up with thousands of little embers, green, red, gold. New Year had always held a special place in Houstons heart. Usually it had been the hope for a better year, the wish for...something to change, even if he hadn't known himself what that particular thing was.

This year though, things were different. He looked up to the skies, most of the other crewembers strewn around on the street doing the same. Swedish singing, wolf loved the night were he finally was allowed to play with all the exploding goodies he created. To be honest, his fireworks were actually gorgeous. This year though, he just wished a particular english man would be here to watch all of this with him. What was the worth of this moment, when the person he really wanted to share and experience it with was so far away. Was he looking up to the sky right now, wishing the same just in the slightest..? Ah well he would never know..probably.. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a while, losing himself in the sounds of the night, letting the soft cold breeze caress his face.

 

Suddenly a pair of arms were lying around his shoulders, a warm body gently pressed up against his back in a tight embrace. Before he could protest he heard something right beside his ear.

"Hey....Happy New Year...little twat.", the words were spoken so lovingly and so unexpected, that Houston couldn't help but smile. When he turned around to return the wishes, Hox pulled him into a deep loving kiss, refusing to let go anytime soon. Slowly he snaked his arms around the english mans neck, deepening the kiss further, taking in the almost too perfect scenery.

 

It was like a movie, none of the others even noticed the two men kissing, iluminated by what was keeping the crews focus in the sky. The night may be thundering with all the fireworks going off, but for Houston it was just silence. Silence and his own heartbeat, going a million miles per hour. The soft and gentle breathing of the man he came to love. And despite the cold night, he felt warm. Warm and safe. He had wished for Hox to be here so bad and now he was. He was finally back from England.

 

Well, almost no one noticed. Two people were standing a little on the side and bumped their fists with a smile. Sometimes a little help never hurts. Sydney then hooked her arm into Jackets and turned to watch the fireworks again. Their deed was done. What better way was there to start a new year than to get a job as replacement Cupid.

 


	3. Addicted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enrique Iglesias - Addicted. Sorry not sorry. this is the song this is about. Yes my brain is strange. Have fun. xD

 

 

 

He was singing from the top of his lungs, swiping the floor, sliding a few meters every now and then in time with the music.

 

"Maybe I'm addicted! I'm out of control! But You're the drug that keeps me from dying...Maybe I'm a liar...but all i really know is that you're the only reason I'm tryiiiiing~!", he wasn't the best singer in the world but he felt like singing anyways. For a long time he hadn't done this and now he was just losing himself in the smile and the music booming through the apartment.

"Naaaaaaah nah nah nah na naaaaaaah! You're the only reason I'm tryiiiing~!"

 

What Houston didn't notice though was a particular englishman leaning in the doorway, grinning and secretly filming on his cell for about half a minute now. He had let himself in with the spare key that had been deposited in the safehouse. If he was completely honest he did enjoy the show quite a bit. It was so absolutely carefree and for Houstons usual composed self kind of an unusual emotional outbreak. The imagery left Hox with a warm happyness that he couldn't quite put into words. He just enjoyed the sight of his ghost having fun without a care in the world. Just being himself, now that he thought nobody was watching.

Again deep in the refrain of a song that Hox usually would've laughed about because of how cheesy it was, Houston turned around, sliding by the door with his mop.

 

"Nanananaaaaaa AHH!",the younger man practically jumped at Hox unexpected appearance.

"Holy shit! You scared the crap out of me!!! How long have you been standing there anyways?!"

 

"Oy, it's knees up here, eh? And Enrique Iglesias? Really?", Hox mused, a grin on his face that could frankly only be described as shit eating. The englishman was obviously more than pleased with himself right now.

"Very cute. The high notes could use a little work though.", he continued his mocking.

 

"And you knew exactly who sang it, Jerk.", Houston couldn't help but smile with him now, giving him a friendly shove.

 

"Yeah but you like this jerk so who's the real loser now?", the grin on Jims face only grew bigger at the friendly insult.

 

"Maybe I'll rethink that part again if you critisise my angelic singing voice.", Houston shot back now.

 

"You are easily getting miffed today princess, fuck me.."

 

"Ha! You wish!"

 

"Oh I didn't notice we were talking about that kind of stuff now! Wanna elaborate on that part?"

 

"Yeah, very clever, don't change the topic here, you ass.", now Houston was chuckling.

 

"Hey hey I didn't want to queer your pitch, princess, go ahead, keep singing and i will gladly listen to your oh so angelic voice.", he was grinning again from one ear to the other.

 

"Like hell you would.", he turned down the volume a bit. "What is bringing me the honor of having you here so soon again anyways?", he watched Hox now, still smiling gently.

 

"Just had a feeling that I should be here...", Jim put his cell away now, reaching out for his ghost and gently pulling him in by the collar of his shirt.

 

"You better not rip that or Sydney will kick your ass...She made that.", now it was Houstons turn to grin mischieviously.

 

"Comply and nothing will happen to your precious shirt, Zachariah Steele.", the fugitive raised an eyebrow, still smiling before he bowed down a bit, taking his time to kiss his ghost properly hello.

 


	4. Shooting practice

 

 

 

"Am I doing this right..? I'm really more comfortable with pistols."

 

"You're doing great don't worry..here let me help.", Hox stood right behind him now, placing his hands over Houstons on the heavy sniper rifle, slightly correcting his grip.

"See?...now aim.",he waited for Houston to tilt his head slighty so he could look through the scope before he bowed down a little, his breath ghosting over Zacs neck now. Pleased he witnessed the small shiver that ran over his skin.

 

"This..is very distracting, you know that..?", the younger admitted quietly.

 

"What? I'm not doing anything. Keep your eyes on the target. A little higher..", he let his Fingers purposefully brush over Houstons, almost intertwining them in the firm grip they both had on the rifle.

"Now start breathing...in...", his voice lowered down now, barely more than a whisper right beside his ear,"...and out...concentrate...in....and out...and when you're ready...hold your breath after exhaling...then pull the trigger...", he could feel each and every one of Houstons movements, as close as he was to him. When he felt the exhale again, he whispered his command. "Shoot."

 

The sudden loud shot pierced the silence, recoil pressing the ghost back against the fugitive. Almost a perfect shot. Not bad for a beginner.

 

"Good...very good... now try again.", the concentration was obvious in Zacs controlled movements. He patiently waited for him to aim again, almost pulling the trigger. That was when he let his lips brush over the soft skin on Houstons neck, so tentalisingly laying bare by the way his head was tilted.

 

"Would you stop that, you smug son of a bitch..?", Houston chuckled now.

 

"Stop what..? I'm just helping you that's all..", he announced innocently enough his mischivous grin hidden by the lean neck his lips were tracing.

 


End file.
